Cocksucking Tales
I had a good laugh this morning on the Metro reading Bruce Heffernan’s “Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?,” from the Onion, of course:
I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?
This has happened to me once at the Bally’s steam room. The guy just assumed that I’m gay and walked really close to where I was sitting started a conversation then next thing I know he has his kee rubbing against my knee. I was freaking the shit out. hahaha.
Is that guy in the article for real? I didn’t read the whole thing, but only gay people can say some of the things he said in his article to gay people.
Hien, anything on the Onions is supposed to be satirical, not to be taken to heart :)
James is right about the Onion. Read between the lines. That fictional character (not the writer by any chance) is obviously gay while living in denial and homophobia - just like countless hypocritical, self-righteous, yet in-the-closet “manly” men we know out there.