You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig. No, I am not comparing Nhu Loan to a pig. She looks too damn sexy to be a pig. I am referring to her limited vocals. Unlike her breasts, which are visually stunning thanks to augmentation, her voice remain unchanged no matter how much digital enhancement it has gone through. She can hide, but she can’t sing.
Once again, her sophomore release, Trai Tim Da Duoc Yeu, testifies that a hot chick can’t make a hot record. The title track begins with her Auto-Tuned acappella. (Trust me, you don’t want to hear her voice naked.) The smooth, snoozing saxophone picks up and her cottony voice floats like air over the tiresome, shiny beat. Her voice gets thinner and lighter on Christian Bautista’s “The Way You Look at Me.” On Sy Dan’s “Hat Nang Con Lai,” the producer has to incorporate fart noises to distract attention away from her weak vocals. “Que Huong,” a dedication to her mother, is the most horrendous rendition ever recorded. Her emotionless flow and monotonous phrasing make you feel like her homeland is an extremely boring place where you just want sleep.
Don’t give me wrong. I am not a hater. In fact, I have mad love for Nhu Loan. Thuy Nga’s stage wouldn’t be the same without her presence. I am sure many of the fellows will miss her too. Although she can’t bare her soul, she has something else to bare.