I am terrible at turning people down, especially close friends and family members. It is so hard to say no to the people I care about. Turning down a favor stressed me out. Am I being selfish?
Of course I understand the give-and-take approach. If I do a favor now, people will return them later. If I don’t, they won’t. If the favor is within my control, I have no problem doing it. When it is not under my control or if it has the possibility of affecting others then I have to weigh on it. I detest making difficult decisions.
Over the years I have learned that if I am going to ask people a favor, I would let them an easy way to turn it down without feeling guilty. That way it saves both sides from feeling bad.
I need to learn that it will be OK to turn people down and it is also completely OK when people turn me down. Right now my head is about to explode that I am turning down a family member.